By: Mika Hartman
Christmas is here and we are counting our blessings. When I was a little girl, I started collecting Precious Moments figures. My Granny Joy and I shared love for these collectibles and they almost became an obsession. My favorite ones were the Christmas ones and the “Make a Joyful Noise” figurine. Loving the cheekiness in the figures and the scriptures they depicted was easy; this one, with the little girl and the goose, had my granny’s name in the scripture making it even more special.
To "make a joyful noise” meant laughter for the longest to me; but, ask me today, and it means all kinds of noises. Hudson’s noises, in particular, bring us all joy. If you listen closely, you can hear words forming. Hudson’s laughter is the best noise ever, but hearing him say “dude” or “I’m good” is a level of tearful joy, too. And, of course, “mama” or “dada”, while not often, is so good to hear. These two words usually follow a cry for something, but he knows who to call… and that brings us joy.
Looking back, from cries to giggles, my journey as a special needs parent has been filled with many new noises; not all the noise has been joyful. The beeps, sirens, alarms, oxygen tanks filling, g-tube machines malfunctioning, and, mainly, the cries that had a trauma feeling attached, all made me very anxious in the beginning. The level of information we need, but have to search for, can be overwhelming. When your child is visibly upset, but he has no words to tell you what’s wrong, those noises can quickly send you into a spiral. My son will always be enough, but we constantly worry about whether we are providing all he needs and how he can use these tools best.
What I have learned: all the noises meant my son was here and fighting, giving us the gift of time. Initially, the noises were scary and unfamiliar, but now they are joyful, too. We made it. We now have less equipment attached. We now have fewer machines to charge and fill. We now have a better understanding of what he needs in most of the situations… we had to go through the hard to get here. The gift of time brings joy: past, and present, plus, hope for a joyous future. The hard brings confidence and helps consolidate the noise. The fight leads to winning.
Every challenge we have faced shows me that we can and will rise above it, and come out both better and stronger for that experience. We are not built differently than anyone else; we all have so much more inside of us than we know. My courage and voice come from seeing my son fight and forge through hard and unfamiliar things… and he can now say, “I’m good”. If he’s good (more like great), I am great, too.
When fear turns to joy, you listen hard for the EXTRA joyful noises in your life. We are blessed.
Merry Christmas from our family to yours. May you hear the bell of Saint Nick, plus, many more EXTRA joyful noises. Be still and listen.
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