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You are a caregiver. That very much over-stressed, over-worked and under-appreciated person who along with probably many others, holds the anonymous title of WORLD’S MOST PATIENT PERSON.
There are likely very few families among our population who have not experienced the sudden disruption, and even heartbreak, when a person among you goes down physically, mentally or emotionally. No longer able to function in their normal day-to-day fashion for a while, they need help.
And very often, that help comes from a household member who willingly – or not – rearranges their own routine to accommodate the ill-fitting and very unexpected role of untrained caregiver.
The word stressful doesn’t even begin to cover this new scenario. Not only are they suddenly pressed into filling a job that includes nurse, encourager, housekeeper, cook, counselor of the depressed and angry, and dodger of the occasionally flying shoe, but they also have to somehow keep up with all their own regular jobs and activities. Because so often, their own daily workload goes on, even though they are now knee-deep in caregiving.
And if a caregiver happens to be one of those people who has never had to be responsible for the myriads of jobs included in keeping a home smoothly operating - because they were the bacon-bringer, while the now-incapacitated was the bacon-fryer? Then this new role is so much harder for them. Not only are they suddenly enduring on-the-job training while having to master new skills, but are probably being taught by a hurting, cranky, and impatient teacher.
I can almost hear the group sigh being exhaled among all you temporary caregivers out there. Frustrated and tired group that you are. Wondering if you can make it all the way to the end of your imprisonment.
The rest of us hear you, and we can see the tired lines on your faces. We notice when some of you instinctively flinch at the sound of a little bell tinkled somewhere nearby. We can almost hear your thoughts, “Wonder how long it will be, before I no longer dread that awful sound in the distance?”
Can anybody see the phrase ‘marital stress’ written on the horizon?
A smidgen of advice for all you heroes of the hurting household.
A warm soaking bath or relaxing shower while your charge is sleeping. Running shoes kept by the door for a ten-minute respite. A great friend, who will listen without judging. A cup of your favorite hot beverage while sitting at least a few minutes all alone. Sleeping pills if needed – you do have to rest. An anti-anxiety pill once in a while for you and your patient can help when the tension gets as thick as fog in the house. Develop the daily habit of praying for your patient, and for your own patience. And my last piece of valuable insight; develop lightning-fast reactions. Helps when dodging. If you know you know.
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